Saturday, August 9, 2014
Pre Move-In Day.
I'm leaving.There's five days left until I'm on a plane to my new home, my new school, my new life. Honestly, I'm feeling anxious. This is a blank, clean slate. I have the opportunity to succeed and thrive. I have the chance to experience something new and beautiful. How does one begin?
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It's one in the morning and I leave in about ten hours. I have a headache from all the emotions I feel right now. I'm overwhelmed. So much packed, so much anxiety, so much rushing. I don't know how to feel. On the one hand, I'm ecstatic. Few get this opportunity. I've truly been blessed. On the other hand, I'm leaving home for two years. That's overwhelming. That's scary. I've been gone all summer, so I've barely gotten to spend quality time with my family and friends.... And now my time is up.
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It's the night before I move in. I don't know how to really feel, you know? I have all these secret concerns and fears and hopes and wishes for the next two years... Hell, for the rest of my life. What can I do but to keep moving forward and working hard? That's all I know. Wish me luck. I can't wait.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
The Mia Experiment
change (v): to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of something different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone
I am only sixteen, yes, but I have an idea of who I want to be. I want to reinvent myself, I suppose. I firmly believe that change calls reinvention, and I am in for a lot of change in the near future. Change excites the soul and frightens the body, and I am ready for it. I want to take control of who I am and who I will become. I want to make myself who I've always wanted to be. I want to find myself, and be that, whatever and whoever that is. I have a feeling that the best way to find out who you are is to be someplace where you don't have to be anyone else, and that's exactly where I'm going. At the end of my journey, it will be myself who I find, and the sooner I accept her for who she is, the better off I will be.
In truth, I am simply striving to be more than I have ever been. I want to be better, brighter, bolder. I think that I am capable of surprising myself.
Don't misunderstand. I am content with who I am now. My intentions are not to completely change my personality, dye my hair purple, and change my name (although there is nothing wrong with those things). I simply want to discover my best self. I don't think that's selfish of me. Rather, I think it's necessary to love myself and make my happiness a priority. Sometimes, your only mode of transportation is a leap of faith, and I plan on building my wings on the way down.
Not everyone will understand my journey. I understand that. I'm okay with that. It's not for everyone to understand; it's for me to make sense of, all on my own.
Here's to obtaining that vision one day.
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